Unit 6 Blog Assignments

Hello everyone. It has definitely been a difficult morning. I must say to begin, that life brings to you what you need when you need and although I have never truly believed in saying like that I do now. This class has done so much for me in opening me up and my exercises this week really culminated with a test that proved to me beyond any shadows that the teachings and lessons we are learning are truly the path I need to be on.  I started the universal loving-kindness early in the week and have gone through it a few times. I did find that it was easier for me to take one line at a time and spend a meditation session with it and then the next session take the next line into thought.  My first session with the exercise was really broken feeling as I kept looking in the book for the next line and I couldn't really stabilize my mind going back and forth from the stillness to what to do next. 

I also started working on the assessment process early in the week and I found it to be quit difficult. I think mostly because truly assessing ourselves involves really facing ourselves and being honest about our weaknesses and things perhaps we might do that we are not ready to face.  I believe that the area I need to grow in most is Interpersonal and that the personal and family levels are where my focus needs to be at this time. While I hope to working on all the levels and aspects Interpersonal and then Biological are my weakest areas and I've decided to start with the Interpersonal as I believe my need for development there outweighs all the others and also that the benefits of developing Interpersonal will affects Biological as well.

I need to develop a confidence personally that can be used to strengthen my inner life and so that I am not so naively moved or affected by the wants and thoughts of others. I want to be a loving and compassionate presence to others but, I also want that to be in a healthy manner and not feel obligated, guilt ridden or controlled by others as well. I need to be able to know and have confidence that I am sending to other spiritual through loving kindness is what is proper for all and understand that they may not perceive it that way as they are most likely not doing the integral work that I have started with this class.

Back to this morning. I picked up my two girls this weekend for their Christmas break. I am so grateful, happy and blessed to have them back with me for any amount of time. Having to relocate to find work and leave them behind has been the hardest thing I've ever had to live through.  My youngest is quit emotionally driven as I am and this morning she had an extremely debilitating panic attack.  It got to the point where all she could do is scream and was unable to move any part of her body.  I noticed as a panic attack early on and was able to get her sitting in a comfortable chair before it completely took over but, it was terrifying to see my baby like that and at first my mind was everywhere and tears were welling up inside me and in my confusion which was about the longest 20 to 30 seconds I think I've ever experienced I was able to quiet my mind and refocus on only her and the attack.  I used the lines of the universal loving-kindness exercise and change the "all individuals" to "my daughter".  I rubbed her neck and shoulders, talked softly to her and while her sister and I both held a hand I told her to send all her pain out her arms to us, that we could handle it and it wouldn't hurt us. Then I clear my mind again and kept my thoughts on the universal loving kindness thoughts that I changed and although it took about a half hour total we made noticeable incremental progress every few minutes. it was very hectic because I had her sister, my mother and had started cooking breakfast before her attack began. The amazing thing to me is how I was able to manage my surroundings while keeping my focus on her and with an utter state of calm because I wanted her to feel peace and calm from me. The exercises worked and about 20 minutes in she stopped screaming and started talking and asked me when it would stop and I looked her in the eyes and told her that it would stop when she wanted it to.  This really helped her. She went back to sending us her pain for a few more minutes and then made the statement that she wanted to move and she did so. We got her to the table, and she ate a bit of breakfast, then she showered and laid down for a bit of a nap. So now, I can sit here and cry because she can't see me and the emotion of all that happened and the release I feel from knowing I handled it, handled it well, helped my daughter and was able to use the practices in a scary situation is just quite a lot. I am truly grateful to life for guiding me to this class, our professor Mark who am I incredibly grateful to for all he is teaching us and to all of you whom have talked with me in the boards and blogs and who have shared your experiences.  Today was the first day I truly felt inside I could make my life and the life of another better, happier and less painful.
I am going to be a good amount of time this Christmas weekend out on the lawn on blankets with my girls teaching them the loving kindness exercises and getting them started on their own integral path. I hope that learning these concepts young will help them balance their own lives as they grow.

Love to you all and Merry Christmas
Cherie

Can Not Get into Class Tonight!!!!

Hi Everyone, I can't get into class tonight.  My log in screen loads but nothing after that. I'm trying to get through to tech support right now.  Does anyone know if the server is down for class tonight????

Loving Kindness vs. Subtle Mind

I think I prefer the subtle mind exercise over the loving kindness.  I find it harder to clear wandering thoughts from my mind during the loving kindness exercise than with the subtle mind exercise. I think this is because the loving kindness exercise asks you to think of people. When I do this I tend to just not think about the person and picturing him/her but I also think of  anything and everything involved with the individual. I have a hard time reigning in my thoughts. If I try to picture and think of one of my daughters I naturally think of the other and my mind bounces between the two.  When I try to think of my Dad I think of my Mom as well.  It's been very odd. I definitely prefer the subtle mind exercise as it asks you to concentrate on your breath.  I have an easier time letting go of all thoughts than keeping my mind focused on just one person.

Unit 5 Question 2: The connection of spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness.

I believe our spiritual wellness in a sense is the culmination of our practices in consciousness development. We begin to heal our mind by quieting it and heal our body by directing our mind. As our ability to do this grows we are evolving consciously and are able to slip into unity consciousness with greater ease. This however, could take years to develop. However, when we do develop the ability our inner- most consciousness, persona, spirit, etc.. soars and is able to connect with all things. Our mind is free to flow where it is needed to do healing work.  Dacher states on page 76 that "Here, the mind drops into the heart" (2006). "Separation, isolation, disturbing emotion, confusion, doubt, and an imbalanced physiology are healed by our inner-most source" (Dacher, 2006). We begin healing through our rudimentary first practices, learning how to manage thoughts, emotion, body systems. We slowly evolve our spiritual/unity consciousness and as our body begins to gain greater health we are able to expand further our unity consciousness until we "are" and can with ease commune with all things, our physiology being an aspect of that.

Dacher, E.S (2006) The Subtle Mind. Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA. Basic Health Publications.

Unit 5 Power Point Project

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B3CMA7G_mDLoNDk2YTY5YTItYmM3Ny00ZDFkLTg1ZjgtODEyOWY3Y2NiNWU5&hl=en

Mental Workout

The concept in Chapter 6, Psychospiritual Flourishing, of the "Mental Workout" (Dacher, 2006) is that it takes daily effort and practice to access and develop our psychospiritual life. Research shows us that by building upon the efforts we make each day we increase our ability to attain and sustain health, happiness and wholeness. Like any muscle that strengthens with use and atrophies without so do our stages of consciousness related to the strength of our mind. By doing something, anything each day, even if it to stand at the kitchen sink while doing dishes while doing breathing exercises we will build a solid foundation in which our walls can be built upon and probably find ourselves doing more than five minutes and then more than ten minutes until our daily practice has become part of our daily routine.

Dacher, E.S (2006). Psychospiritual Flourishing, Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach, Ca. Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Loving Kindness relaxation exercise

Hello everyone, here we are once again with the analysis of another relaxation exercise. I was excited to get going on this one and use the CD that accompanies our book.  I started on Tuesday night and can say that it did not go well. I was incredibly annoyed by the female voice at first and I just couldn't settle into it. I tried again on Wednesday night and I did better but, I kept having completely erroneous images pop up like a man in a blue plaid shirt holding a big bowl of popcorn while I was trying to send love to my youngest daughter. I also had this male voice a few times say one word which I can't even remember except that it really broke my concentration. I was having trouble developing picture images as well but, could concentrate the thought on my daughter. On Thursday I got through to taking someones pain and found I could not picture in my mind my Dad even though I could concentrate my thought on him. Friday and Saturday were so crazy I never got to do the exercise. So, this morning as soon as I woke up I grabbed my CD player, headphones, announced I'd be out when I was done with my exercise and headed back to bed. I find it's easier for me laying down than sitting up.  I was doing great this morning. I am thinking it was because my mind was less tired than when trying to do it at the end of the day. But, I also found out that if you check out you better get back before the CD ends. I went from this complete state of relaxation to the floor next to my bed after the blast of static that came through the headphones scared me half to death and I rolled off the bed...OUCH! Anyway it's not very relaxing to have your relaxation interrupted in such a manner. I will keep at it and hopefully have some more successful attempts over the next couple of days. 

I did find the exercise portion much easier this morning however, still unable to develop a full picture in my mind. If anyone has any tips regarding this I'd love to hear them. I think once I get the hang of this exercise it will be beneficial because although rudely interrupted, I did feel better about myself, my family and everything I needed to tackle today, like 15 hours of homework.

Unit 3- Relaxation Exercise

Tonight I completed the relaxation exercise.  I liked this one better than last weeks and I was definitely able to relax and clear my mind.  I didn't do so well with the actual visualizations though. I did start out listening intently and concentrating on each part of the body he mentioned and trying to see the color. However, I think I went completely blank after the third one and didn't really start hearing him again until the last one.  I had to do the exercise again to be able hearing all six colors and the 2nd time wasn't as relaxing because I was trying so hard to stay with each color.  I definitely need to spend some time with these relaxation exercises. I've no idea where my mind goes during them but it is like I am totally gone.  Is anyone else having this problem?

White Lion - When the Children Cry (official music video) HQ

Sometimes You just need a really good Laugh

Unit 3: My personal level of wellness

When I first read our assignment for the blog this week I didn't whether to laugh or cry. Me, Optimal Wellness, ya right. I can honestly say that it is a new journey for me. One that I believe I have been looking towards for many years but am just now learning where the path starts. I would have to say my physical well-being is at a 0, my spiritual well-being maybe a 4 and my psychological well-being definitely in negative numbers, like a -10. LOL

There are many reasons as to why my well-being is in such a state and just sitting here thinking of them all is bringing me to tears. If you asked anyone who knows me to define suffering they would probably simply say, "Cherie."  In the realm of struggles, abuses, idiotic mistakes and just about anything else imaginable I have experienced and while I have survived through it all I can definitely now say I have not lived through it all.  I have rebuilt my life more times than I care to count and yet never have I built a thriving life. The thought of being happy actually terrifies me as I am so use to being down I don't know what to do with happiness and even worse I truly have believed that I do not deserve happiness because of the mistakes I have made in my life.

I am where I am now because I came here to heal and rebuild my life again. I'm not sure if it is coincident, irony, or life sadistic yet somewhat needed slap upside the head with a big dead fish, that I have this class this term. As this class has already forced me and helped me to start facing some long, deeply hidden hurts. Opening doors in my mind which have been sealed, for good reason, for decades. I know what it feels like to fall to floor on knees, heaving tears of pain, begging God to explain "'why".  I know what it feels like to hide it all so that when your sweet babies enter the room you are the bright, happy, nurturing Mother you need to be. How do you fix a vessel that is literally leaking everywhere?

Tried counselor, psychologists, psychiatrists and always I hear the same things. You have so much pain, you're carrying a truck load. Here, take this it will help..Great..pills.  You're going through a period of depression, here..take this.  I walked away from each one of them.  For some reason I knew deep inside that pills were not my answer. I wanted someone to help me face my life not veil it by putting me in a medicated coma. I truly believe that if these doctors would really help people with their lives they could stop prescribing so many drugs. But, they prefer to sit in their leather chairs, watching the clocks, going over in their heads how many and what strength prescriptions they are going to send you off with. No thanks. I am stronger than that.

The goal I want to set for myself physically is to lose weight as I have over the years gained a ton of it but I have realized that's not going to happen with my current state of mind.  I don't think we can improve what we don't have an appreciation for. so my physical goal is to find an appreciate for my physical body.  I am working on getting outside and walking for my physical activity. I think this will help me to feel my body and clear my mind. I have shut down and turned off so much of myself that often I feel simply numb. So, I think first feeling my body would be a good goal through physical activity.

Psychologically my goal is to give my mind a break.  There is no greater suffering in this world than that which we inflict upon ourselves and I have mastered that art. The activity I am going to work on for this goal is some positive feedback. Every time I catch myself telling me something negative about myself or thinking I can't or won't ever be able to do something I am going to change those sentences into positive ones.

Spiritually I need to let myself and the world off the hook. I need to learn how to forgive, true forgiveness. For this I am going to try some forgiving visualization exercises. I am hoping that if I visualize myself forgiving myself and others that it might break down some deep seeded barriers and allow me to open back up to myself, others and the world.

Jouney on Relaxation Exercise

Well, I'm no so sure I did this exercise right, although I did try.  It is a good thing it is a training technique because I obviously need quite a bit of practice.  I enjoyed the music and did try to follow along with the narrator. I had some trouble keeping my mind clear at the beginning. I did feel warmth in my arms and hands but it was sporadic and I really had to trouble lifting them at all.  Weird though my feet got really really cold.  I also realized that at one point I really wasn't hearing the narrator anymore. His voice I think just blended into the music. I don't know where my mind was but apparently it checked out all together. LOL.  I think they could have left out some of the finer physiological explanations. They didn't seem to help much in relaxing me.

Introduction Post

Hello everyone and welcome to this Firie blog.  I chose Firie for my blog name because it incorporates the last three letters of my first name and also because I have red hair. So, it's my way of having a lil bit of a description of me in my user name.   Thank you for stopping by and feel free to add my feed.  I'll be adding yours.  I hope we all have a great term.
Firie ; - )

This is a picture of a snake I almost stepped on while walking on my Aunt's property.  I was looking up at the trees and how beautiful they were as they were turning colors and almost squashed his little head.  Those moments where we look or notice something just in the nick of time always amaze me.

Hello

Hello Kaplan classmates.  Blogging is definitely new to me.  I've never desired to have one so we'll see how I do with this.  I hope everyone is able to find it easily enough and I set this up right.  Well,  have some cleaning to do before I hit the books.

 Love and Light to all.
Cherie