Hello everyone,
I have to say that my favorite exercise is the Loving-Kindness. I have worked with it a bit more than any of the others and I find it helps to keep me focused on people and not necessarily the way they act or treat me. I am definitely not forcing myself into accepting people in my life that I feel are rude, abusive, etc... but, I am learning that I do not have to let them affect my life, like my emotional state, as I have always let them. I actually spend a few sessions a week just working with the Loving-Kindness and sending loving kindness to my father. He can be very verbally and emotionally abusive and I have noticed that my ability to deal with him and not let his negativity invoke my negativity is getting much better.
The other set of exercises I like the most were the visualization exercises that were presented in chapter 14. I think I was so excited by these because I was able to achieve them. While I did not always get the expected result I got a result where with some of our other exercises I had trouble falling asleep, or being able to do what was asked. I have been working on these visualizations as well and I am getting better at it and learning to let emotions I feel move through my consciousness just like the cluttering thoughts. These visualizations have been good in helping me keep in mind what it is I am working towards as well.
Learning what works for you is a milestone to progressing towards human flourishing. Everyone has people and events in their lives that have profound repercussions on our physical and emotional levels. Knowing what we need to overcome, finding ways to deal honestly, and seeing positives results from our efforts keeps us moving forward and allow us to relinquish the control that others have over our well being.
ReplyDeleteThe loving kindness was my favorite too. In my life one of the things I have to work on, and I have gotten better, is not letting people make me angry or upset because that gives them power over me. This exercise can go a long way into helping me remember this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the loving-kindness exercise. I can somewhat relate to what you are talking about, but instead of it being just one person it's actually my whole biological family. This exercise has helped me get through a lot of heart ache they have caused me and now I don't focus all my time and energy on them. I focus on what matters and those who mean a lot to me and return the love. For me the visualization exercise was not as effective for me. However, I now if I keep working on it, it will eventually work for me.
ReplyDeleteHey there Rie,
ReplyDeleteI too choice Loving Kindliness and Visualization exercise. I think the Visualizations exercise was probably the most challenging for me. You mentioned in the loving Kindness exercise, observing people rather than reacting to them, is a great observation.
I think this is where the rubber meets the road kina of thing. This is where the lessons of life truly begins to develop, because if you observe what you pay attention to without reacting to it, we start to discover the situation beings to unfold and you find out it has nothing to do with you at all. It’s as if you’re sitting in the drive in movie and your sound box (move speaker) isn’t working. You observe what you see on the screen without sound, but you pick up every detail as if you hearing it. Instead of wasting energy looking for another speaker, snatching one off someone else’s car, running up to the manager’s office to complaining, and all the while you missed everything on the movie screen. What do you think about that colleague? Sweet. Anyway, so out of frustrations, confusion, fear, anger , etc, we respond, but if your observant, everything start to come to light, and you don’t even have to pay attention to it, you just don’t react. Maybe the speaker might work again. I am a bigger fan of being observant than I have ever been since this course.
Otherwise, continue to be observant and keep paying attention to what you see and feel. Before you know it, it will become second nature instead of an effort. I am still working on it, but a very cool feeling to experience having control over our actions.
As far as the Visualization exercise, I was battling with this one myself. I did the same as you. I fell asleep, I had a problems staying focus in one, I was griping thoughts I couldn’t let go of, and I couldn’t control the directions of my thoughts. I don’t know about you, but just describing this just made me tired. The only thing I can suggest is to keep practicing. I know I will. Every little effort counts for something, even as much as a mustard seed! Keep it up.
I also am fond of the loving kindness exercise... When I am performing this exercise, I am thinking of my father who passed away 10 years ago... It allows me to reconnect with him and in a way to let him know how much I love him and how much I miss him... By doing this, I do feel much better and feel that I have formed a spiritual connection with my father that I can call on anytime I need to.
ReplyDeleteLaura